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My most personal song so far... Ugly Beast is out now.

A song about not being able to continue your normal life because you feel a constant threat.

Spring 2019 I took a writing trip to my beloved Nashville Tennessee. I gathered all my thoughts and started digging in my notebook. I found a lot of sadness and things I worried about. I was writing one song every single day. But the thing I was struggling most with I had a hard time putting into words and music. I got the inspiration to write the song after reading a book that said sometimes facing your demons is the only way to win the battle. With this in mind I sat down with @femkesongs and @johnreynolds. They allowed me to dig deep, shed tears and to create the song that is my most personal song so far. After this trip I experienced a burn-out.

I was still recovering when Covid-19 hit the world. Seeing the frustration, struggle and grief of people not being able to continue their normal lives resonated with my burn-out period. I felt it was time to share my story. I hope my honesty, struggle and perseverance will be recognised by others living in these uncertain times. Ugly Beast tells how I could no longer fight the stresses of life and felt constantly in search of peace. Preventing this was a voice that kept telling me that I was worthless and would never find love.

I’ve tried to be open about it in my personal life, on stage and online. Not because I want to set an example or to ask for your sympathy or sorry. But because I’m looking for the human connection. You are not alone. Everyone that seems alright has a soul that’s hurting deep inside.

It was such an emotional experience recording this song. I wanted to tell my story and this wonderful team tucked it in safely and gave it wings!

Ugly Beast was produced by Benjamin Rheinländer and Pieternel

Mixed by Benjamin Rheinländer

Mastered by Wessel Oltheten

Drums by Benjamin Rheinländer

Bass by Lucas Dols

Guitars by Bram Dorelijers and Maarten van Damme

The videoclip will be released on march 8th on youtube

I hope it resonates with you…

Let me know what you think 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Big hug,


N E R V O C I T I N G. It’s been 1,5 years since I released new music. I was struggling with a burn-out and my creative flow was absolutely gone. When people asked me if I was making music again I got really nervous and even terrified. When performing, stage freight would take over. I needed time to come back to me, to feel safe. It took lot’s of walks, sat down on random benches to soak in the sun, learned to slow down and listen to what my body was telling me. The support of my amazing family & friends and fans was crucial.

In February I told my psychologist that I was ready to open up my world a little. I felt more stable and was curious to start making plans again. When Covid-19 hit the world, I was still recovering. In the beginning, this huge shift in life gave me so much stress. But after a while I felt the urge of creating new songs. Seeing the frustration, struggle and grief of people not being able to continue their normal lives resonated with my burn-out period.

My new single is called I’M READY. It’s feel like new era. I’m nervous and excited (nervociting!) but most of all..I’m Ready. I’m Ready to show myself again, for change, to get out there, ready to be in a meaningful relationship. It’s my roar for love and longing for connection.

My wish in these times where we can easily drown in the successes shown online, is that we can also share real stories. Cuz in this complicated world we need true feelings. I hope my honesty, struggle and perseverance will be recognised by you and will empower you.



Updated: Mar 26, 2018

New York, the city that never sleeps! In 2008 I first travelled to NYC. I’d heard of the buzzing vibe but had for see for myself. At night I watched shows, listened to live music and always ended up dancing somewhere. This highly inspiring city swept me of my feet! I told my self; ‘next time I come back I wanna live here!’ This happened in 2015. I had no plan, only the desire to spend more time in NYC …And My Oh My, little did I know... that year I started my Dutch/American Dream.....

Just before my plane to New York took off I registered for a songwriting Masterclass from the renowned Pat Pattison, professor at Berklee College of Music (see picture of him and me on Instagram). This is the only thing I had planned for my stay. I had an apartment in Brooklyn, a suitcase, my guitar, and an angel telling me adventure was on it's way!

Although New York City is a crowded place it gave me a chance to ground again. Because honestly, I was still recovering from heartbreak and finding my way in my new life. The positive energy in the Big Apple gave me confidence which led me to inspiring people and moments. I would write down little frames in my notebook whilst enjoying the sun... 



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